are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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