Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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