I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
