so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
