We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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