I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
either way he was missing a nipple.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
is it fun? or sober?
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