I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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