I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I will pee on everything he values.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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