Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
