I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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