so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize