If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
