My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
