I wannas sexs uuuuu
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize