would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
