I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
