Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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