I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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