I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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