so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
