that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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