everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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