come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
