remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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