i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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