I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
