Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it glows. i had to have it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
