That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
