he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize