You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
