i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
is that a dick in a sweater?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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