I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
