brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize