But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
