A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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