Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize