Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
