i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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