We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize