She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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