you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I came so hard my ears popped.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
