he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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