a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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