your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
