They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
