Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
