Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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