doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
