I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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