I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
