Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
