did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
