I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
