don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
