So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
