At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
