Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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