ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
