Your dad touched me again.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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