Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
