Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
