at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You made out with two different species that night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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