When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
