I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Found the puke drawer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
