I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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