mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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