very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I cockslap morals
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish you could order shots online.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
