so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
