Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize