It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
