that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
