you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
