WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My life is pants optional.
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