Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize