why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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