your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
