And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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