Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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