If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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